Do We Have a Purpose in Life?

Hey its me!

Doing one of my many jobs.

Do we have a purpose in life?

Loaded question, I know. One I do not expect to answer. Not in this essay and maybe not ever. Perhaps, this notion is subjective. Some live out a life they knew they were born to live and others float along the river of life not quite sure they are fulfilling a purpose that was meant for them. Granted, it can be a lovely river full of docks that you can make pit stops on, but none that necessarily inspire you to leave your raft. There is also the more likely scenario that both people exist. I think that may be what occurs. Some are certain that they were meant to be a doctor, parent, teacher, mechanic, caretaker. These are the people who say “I just knew I had a calling” or “I was put on this earth to be…” fill in the blank here.

What is evident to me is all of these “callings” and “meant to be” are related to our occupation. Recently, my insightful boyfriend Jacob and I were discussing this concept. Our identities are intrinsic to our jobs. One of the first questions we answer when greeting someone new is “what do you do?” and there is this expectation that you answer with your career choice and in doing so, people tend to align your answer with your purpose. While this isn’t a negative trait it seems to be steeped within a capitalist society (and if we go one more step patriarchal, but I digress). Now, I am not here to go into politics and economics and all that jazz because frankly we get enough of that nowadays and I am not as well versed in this subject matter to continue that side of this discussion.

What I truly want to explore is this concept of purpose for all of you out there who may feel like you don’t have one or you can’t find one. What if we redefined it? What if we took the pressure off this question? For me, I have had a variety of jobs that genuinely became a joke to myself and friends. People would ask, how many jobs do you have now? 15? It never reached 15 but, I think it did hit 5 jobs at one point. I say this because at certain times in my life I have been a student, a receptionist, an interviewer, a teacher, gallery manager, content creator, appointment setter, auction cataloger… believe me the list can go on. I am listing an abbreviated version of my resume to you because I don’t know what my purpose is, what I’m meant to do, or if I do have a calling. I have a feeling a lot of you out there feel the same way.

What if we not only redefined the concept of purpose but, we let it become plural. As human beings, as spirits that live in this world, our minds, emotions, and souls will always be so much more than what we do. However, if you are feeling uncertain about floating down the river I spoke of earlier how about we let our purpose expand beyond singularity. I have always been drawn to creating, but to call myself, artist, writer, poet, creator, to name just one does not encompass what I do and what I am hoping to do in my life. Let us begin to explore what it means to push past the capitalistic tendency to only define our purpose by how we create an income to sustain a life. Our purpose can and should be much more. The list of jobs I rattled off before is how I defined myself at any given time. There were moments where I answered with pride. There were also moments I hoped with all my might that nobody would ask me that mediocre question “what do I do?.” I did not want to answer with the job I had at the time, even though I had also been creating and developing my business and artistry Embracing Obsession. If I answered with where I was between the hours of 9-5 it felt as though I was negating where I put all my passion, energy, and life force, but if I only answered what I did outside my 9-5 I felt as though I was lying.

Does anyone else feel this way?

Neither felt like the right answer and my sense of purpose seemed to be bogged down in the minutiae of it all. Is there a reason I couldn’t or shouldn’t answer with both? How often do we give people the chance to answer this question fully? “So, what do you do?” could be the opening to a complex conversation and a deeper understanding of the person you are hoping to know. Is there a better question to ask? What if we opened a conversation with “How do you spend your time?.” It is simple really, this switch of a few words but the ask allows for numerous answers. Now, one is free to discuss their job yes, but their passion projects, their family, their hobbies, or the ways in which they hope to spend their time and the slow process of creating the path there.

So, do we have a purpose in life? Personally, I think we all do, but I believe society stunts our ability to see everyone’s unique purpose. I think we limit the answer to this question and don’t give each other the space to fully flesh out the real answer to this question. Humans are complex, I believe for some of us our purpose is as well.

To sum up this little rant: ask better questions and don’t be afraid of the raft you’re floating on. Each one of the jobs I’ve had has led me here and has slowly brought me closer to my own purpose. What that is I’m not quite sure, but I believe it is hidden within all the words I write and all the paint I put on a canvas. So, in the time that it took me to write this, I stopped at the little dock labeled “Writer”, where should I stop next?

Hello there, Nice to meet you!

I am a creative human.

You are a creative human.

Let’s Chat!

I want to share my journey with you so you know where I come from and the reason art is so intrinsic to my life.

To be honest, I never know how to start these things. I always end up sounding like someone else instead of me. Maybe, I need to set the scene. I’m currently writing this at my little desktop desk in my room on a Sunday morning, I have a half full cup of coffee that I will most likely replenish before it hits empty and Jurassic World is playing on my phone in the background. Why Jurassic World? I decided to have a Jurassic Park Marathon this weekend while I was painting and working on my new collection. Those 90’s movies are the best, amirite?!

In a nutshell this is me, your embracer.

I’m usually doing more than one thing at a time which is both fantastic and also problematic at times. Before I got here, to this desk, writing this blog post, I went to school for Art History. Not art? Nope. I did one semester for a Bachelor of Fine Arts and at the time, 18 year old Dani was by no means confident enough to put herself out there and declare her creativity worthy of the worlds’ eyes. To go through critique after critique each week was daunting. Instead, I fell in love with Art History, learning about the art I have admired and the context in which they were made has and always will fascinate me.

Similar to a majority of people who graduate from their first four years of college…

I had no idea what I was doing after, so I enrolled in graduate school. I had amazing opportunities in my Master’s program and throughout my three years I was able intern in galleries and art studios in and around New York City. It was an incredibly exciting time, as well as, terrifying. Alongside beginning to build my resume as a 22 years old I was diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. This led me to finding the therapist I still have today and discovering that most of my worries in life don’t have to be worries at all. Both externally and internally my world was changing, but in retrospect it is kind of amazing, everything humans can accomplish even when we are in the thick of it, when we are trying to understand ourselves, and when we slowly uncover the key to help us continue to evolve.

Early adulthood is a wild ride.

Despite majoring in Art History my creativity has always been with me along the way. I minored in Photography which exposed me, on a much smaller scale, to those critiques I found daunting. Photography was my passion all throughout college, I always had my DSLR on me and had the most incredible professors that truly showed me the power of an image. However, as time passed and grad school was underway I found myself longing for pencils, paper, color, paint, messes.

I missed using my hands to create.

In the midst of grad school, I began painting again. Landscapes. All of these have been archived at this point but they were where I found my love of color. The more landscapes I painted the looser they became and the more I wanted to focus on the relationships of color. Slowly the mountains and trees gave way to mixing multiple variations of greens to see what happens when you put them on a canvas together. I no longer felt confined to representation and these paintings could represent my own personal reflections. What I was experiencing found itself directly on the canvas.

Shortly after grad school, in 2018,
I came up with the name
Embracing Obsession.

I wanted to take all I had experienced learning about my own mind and put it on the canvas. While my thoughts are no different from anyone else the emphasis I put on certain thoughts causes anxiety, obsession, and fear. Mostly, fear of the unknown. This is the part of OCD that I believe goes unseen by most and it is the part I wanted to address in my paintings. I want the canvas to be a place I could put that fear and let it exist outside of myself.

Now, I continue on my path as artist and poet

You may have noticed I haven’t spoken about poetry as much in this retelling of my life. This is because I honestly don’t know when I began writing. Writing has been with me probably before art. Growing up I always had a journal, always had a planner. I would write and write and write; I always had poetry strewn across the pages. I’ve performed at the Bowery Poetry Club and won a Spoken Word contest in college but it was always a hobby, until 2020. The isolation of COVID-19 allowed me to write and edit and work on my poetry in ways I probably never would have had if not given the time.

My life is now filled with a beautiful community of creative artists and I continue to develop and evolve my craft and as a person. I continue to learn something new about myself everyday and within that something new about my own capacity for creativity.

Welcome to my life as
artist, poet, and embracer.
I am so glad you’re here with me.