“Sway”, oil on paper, 4″ x 6″, January 16, 2018
This is one of those paintings that I feel is lacking the magic. It does not evoke the feeling I usually get when I am ready to let the painting exist on its own. It feels muddy. In my opinion, it IS muddy. I overworked the brushstrokes, the composition does not sit well with me and the individual colors clash in my mind. However, there are parts of this painting that I enjoy. The paint its fairly thick on the bottom right and the transition from white to yellow to orange pleases my eyes. It is where by gaze gravitates, but my enjoyment stops there.
Why am I making a post to highlight the fact that I made a painting that does not please me? If it does not please me, why would it please you? Well, that is the funny thing about paintings, about art, about the subjectivity of life. Every person, in this whole world, brings a completely different perspective to every situation. Maybe, you like it because it sends you back to a memory you haven’t thought of in years. Maybe, you didn’t sit at your dining room table and struggle to make this painting work, like I did. Maybe, it reminds you of a book, or a song, another painting, a sculpture, something I have never seen but, still somehow managed to reference.
I want to give this painting a chance.
When I decided to walk away from this painting, I was frustrated, aggravated, and wished I could wipe it all away and start from scratch. However, the act of painting can end up being similar as the act of moving through life. Some days just do not fit right. Some days we are energized, but then we have to sit in front of a computer screen all day at work never releasing all of that zest. Some days we don’t want get out of bed but, we have a list of tasks to accomplish and they all take place outside of your home. Some days things don’t click and that is okay.
Maybe this painting will always be, “Eh, only okay”.
The more important point for me, as an artist, is that I showed up. I dedicated time to painting. I will keep dedicating my time to painting even if the magic doesn’t show up, even if its only okay.