“Dark Swamp”, Oil on paper, 4″x 6″, January 14, 2018
I find my thoughts a dark swamp and as I look up at the sky I hope some of its light will clear the way.
Art has always been my sky.
This might possibly be my favorite painting that I have created in January of 2018. I spent more time than usual on this painting, probably around 30-40 minutes. Each brushstroke carefully placed. I thought a lot about the amount of light I wanted in this painting, the brightness of the red, how I wanted the blues and purples to coexist. I kept thinking about what my mind might look like on the inside. Easily it can change from a place filled with terrible thoughts, panic, rumination, and an endless circle of self doubt and criticism. I always imagine a wasteland. A swamp causing disarray, slowing down time, making seconds feel like a type of suffering, not in the tragic sense.
*Cue etymology lesson*
The word Suffer, comes from the Latin Sufferre. Ferre means to bear, to carry. Oh, how far this word has come. There is a weight that thoughts can have when they don’t go away. It sticks. Luckily, there are parts of my life that I have been trying to grow that help peel off the residue.
Art will always be my sky because it reminds me that light has to exist if there is dark, otherwise there is nothing at all.